Why the Animal Kingdom and I Don't Get Along

So this may end up being a little long, but it includes a couple of stories- and a recap of the summer.

When my incredibly awesome family came to visit Jordan and I in Logan, I was uber excited, because I was going to get to see my brother Ryan, who has been on the mission for two years.  Because there were 8 of us in a group all together, there was no way we were all going to get to do what everyone wanted, so we tried to give everyone the opportunity to do at least one thing they really wanted to do.  Well, hiking up to the wind caves in Logan canyon was on the list for my mom.  So, we went hiking.  I am not a big outside person, but I love the view from the top, so you gotta work to get there sometimes.

Well, on the hike I somehow ended up at the front of the pack--probably more due to my excitement to get to the top more than my athletic hiking ability.  About halfway up, I started to walk around a switchback, and heard the LOUDEST RATTLING EVER.  Now, being a good arizonan and girls camp attendee in my youth, I immediately recognized this sound as a freaking rattlesnake.  I quickly looked around to see if I could see it and it was about 4 inches from my left foot on a rock, coiled, and ready to make my life a living....well, you know.  I froze, took two steps back and then prepared to run all the way down the mountain.  I stopped when I found my brother and Jordan and told them all about it.  They were a little skeptical, but went to check things out for me.  As they were about to say, "Are you sure..." it started rattling away again.  They took a video and pics (as you can see) and then, after it had slithered away, guarded the way as we made our way to the top.  Ugh!!

Once we got past the snake, though, the view was amazing.  Plus I got major points for being so brave. :)

Story 2

So after we got back from UFOC, and back to our apartment in Vegas, everything in our apt was in pretty fabulous shape, thanks to our friends Nathan and Nikki for checking it out while we were gone.  We did however, have a small roach and ant problem.  At first, they were all dead and so I put my brave hat back on to vacuum all those suckers out of my kitchen cupboards before I cooked anything.  I was on high alert for the better part of an hour, but despite the inherent ickyness of cleaning up dead roaches, I was doing fine.  I got to the very last and highest cupboard--which had nothing in it for the whole time we lived there, but I figured that I'd check it in the name of being thorough.  Mistake.  I found the freaking nest.  As soon as I opened that thing, they went crazy and scurried INTO THE WALLS and effectively made me lose my grip on reality.  I started screaming and shaking and having a "major wiggins."  Who am I??? I am NOT one of those wussy girls.  See Story 1!  I didn't even cry when that rattlesnake showed up--and it is actually dangerous.  Apparently I only lose it when it comes to roaches.  Anyway, my adoring husband came to my rescue.  He wrapped his arms around my entire body and arms by my ribs (I was standing on a chair) and picked me up like I was a pencil and transported me to the couch--all the while I was a crying mess.  He held me for about 10 minutes while I let myself lose it completely, and then donned the appropriate roach battling armor and took care of business.  :)

Story 3

Fast forward to this last weekend.  After a 3 week rehearsal process, I had made it to opening night of The Music Man with the Phoenix Symphony at Symphony Hall.  I was super excited to be performing with this amazing orchestra and in an amazing venue.  My character, Marian the Librarian, doesn't actually come onstage for about 15 minutes into the show, so imagine my surprise when I came onstage and I saw something flying around our heads out of the corner of my eye.  I thought-- maybe its a moth catching the stage lights.  Maybe its a bird!  That would be wacky, but not unheard of.  No.  It was a FREAKING BAT.  As in dracula.  a BAT.

So yeah.  I don't know if it was the stage lights, my teased hair, or the obscene amount of hairspray in my hair, but it seemed especially interested in me, as it proceeded to swoop around me on and off for the entirety of the 1st act.  I was able to keep my composure (though if it had landed on me, I would have gone insane on that thing) somehow, but I was glad when my new friend decided not to show up for act 2.  I may have been imagining it, but I think I got an even bigger round of applause at the end because the audience could tell that in addition to my performance that night, I was also trying to prevent myself from becoming the next feature news story on youtube.  My family celebrated my birthday a few days after that and reproduced the scene for me:

Need I say more about why I never wanted to be a vet???